Future

It's been hard, recently, to find a way to grow. As it is, it's been a struggle to fight my own sickness and need to be a dead worm instead of getting anything done. My mom doesn't quite understand what it's like to not be able to study, although that's not her fault either.

Today my health has been good -- I even got to doing a few chores. I also got to read a little. I don't know why, but it's gotten to be that even writing in my personal journal is too forward and I don't want to say a lot. I just feel like I want everything to be quiet or something. I feel like I'm getting more and more quiet and shy or something. I don't know.

I also really miss my cd player. I don't know where it is, but the chances of it being lost forever are minimal. Still, I miss it. I miss listening to music too... although hearing the birds and traffic outside of my window with the occasional breeze is nice too.

All these feelings seem to float around me... glowing... twirling...
Which one should I catch? Which one is worth my time?
They all seem to be, and yet...

Even if it's just a little, my heart softens.